4 Steps To Show Your Child The Right Way To Apologize

We are used to telling children to “apologize” as soon as we catch them doing something wrong, but the truth is that it is not right to force them to apologize. What is the best way to teach them?

Stop and think for a moment about the last time you had to apologize to someone. It was hard?

If it is difficult for you, an adult, to apologize, you know it is difficult for your child. Before forcing a child to apologize, ask yourself how quickly they apologize when they make a mistake. Do you say it right away? Does it take time? How do you feel when you say it? Do you feel guilty?

Add to that an internal speech that reminds you again how much you are “wrong” or “not good enough.”

Noga Hila Mutna, parent and family counselor, NLP facilitator, and child holistic therapist, explains that in order to teach the child the meaning of forgiveness, it is important to teach empathy, understand the other side, and try to tell the story backwards. the child understands how the other person felt.

It is important that you prioritize talking with your child and less insisting that a child ask for forgiveness to look better in the eyes of society. Sometimes because you are ashamed of a child’s behavior, it is important that you show everyone that you have no idea where this child came from, so that no one questions how you raised your child, but that, as mentioned, is not so. . t the point.

1 – The role of forgiveness

Forgiveness comes to “cleanse” the unpleasant feelings within us and allow the other side to release them as well. Of course, it depends not only on us, but also on whether the other party is willing to let go of anger and pain or not. For our part, and it is in our hands, it is important to see responsibility, understand the big picture, understand our part in the story, be in a state of contemplation and learn “what can I do differently next time?”

How can you properly teach your child about forgiveness and how to ask for it?

2 – Show your child how “you” ask for forgiveness

When a parent shows a child how to ask for forgiveness, these personal examples are more important than what you say. In front of your child, apologize if you accidentally missed someone in line, or say sorry to your spouse if they reacted in a way that could have hurt you. The child will hear and see you doing this and internalize that apologizing is good behavior.

(Credit: Ingimage)

3 – Show what it’s like to be on the other side

If you did something and you feel like you might have acted differently in front of your child, you apologize and indicate that the next time you will notice your behavior, your child will see what it is like to be on the apologetic side. .

You will see someone important who knows how to be human and will explore another way to behave if necessary. It is true that your child is still young and may not feel comfortable being looked at as someone who made a mistake, but you want to show your child how to behave in a way that you believe in and not just force an apology without understanding the depth. her.

4 – Emphasize positive intention when apologizing

When you ask the child to apologize, emphasize the positive intention he had at the time and remember that his behavior is the result and expression of a strong emotion or need that has not been answered. In other words, the child may have had good intentions, but the “execution” was twisted.

For example, apologizing for a confrontation with another child in the park can begin like this: “We know you really wanted to go on the slide and you had a hard time waiting, we understand. When you stand in line, you must wait patiently, even if it is difficult. When you push it is unpleasant. If the child behind you pushes you, it will hurt and maybe even insult you, right? This child probably feels the same way. If it is really difficult for you, you can come to us and we will help him find the patience within you, since we know you have it. “

In conclusion, it does not make sense to force a request for forgiveness and it is important to reflect on its meaning. It is enough for one child to experience the emotion of the other, allow the children to learn from their mistakes, and remember to show that you understand their actions.

The best way to teach a child to apologize is from a sensitive and empathetic place.


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