Breastfeeding: dealing with separation

No matter what the reason is that you stopped breastfeeding and are experiencing the sadness of parting with this special moment with your baby, here are some important things to read in times when it hurts.

It seems difficult to put into words the resentments and acute pain that the heart experiences when a mother stops breastfeeding her baby, especially if this happens too quickly.

The shattered fantasy, the guilt that floods him and the feeling of failure and anger towards oneself begin to surface: What did I not do well? Where did I go wrong? Maybe my decisions were reckless?

Anat Yaari, a lactation consultant certified by the International Board of Examiners of Lactation Advisors (IBCLC), who owns the “Mother and Way” school to train breastfeeding instructors, believes that Western society does not like to be overwhelmed by problems they have many emotions and can ignite quickly. And therefore there is not enough discourse on the complex feelings that mothers experience during this period. As such, their feelings can be silenced with a blanket statement like, “The main thing is that they are both healthy, and in the end they all grow up, even if they were not breastfed.”

But for a mother whose breastfeeding has not been successful, these feelings can be unbearable and these comments will not help things to improve. Rather, pain can lead to withdrawal and an internal process similar to the experience of grief, heartbreak, or separation.

So first of all, it is important to remember that you are experiencing human feelings that are maternal and normal. You wanted the most basic and existential for your baby. Your hormones and your body prepared for the process of motherhood and now, when breastfeeding has not been successful, your hormones are rampant and can make you feel depressed, sad and even anxious. Beyond hormones, breastfeeding symbolizes the deep physical and emotional connection between you and your baby, maternal capacity, and the sweet bubble that was supposed to be only yours and theirs, and if that didn’t happen, it’s painful.

It’s important for every mother who reads, identifies, and may shed a tear to remember the obvious sentences, but she still needs to repeat them over and over again – it hurts.

Don’t ignore this heartache. You will be a loving, compassionate and generous mother despite the feeling of missing something. The connection between you and your baby will intensify over time, even without breastfeeding.

Do not forget to find the place and time for yourself, express these feelings. Write, talk about them and release them. If you need professional support, don’t hesitate. It is normal to keep thinking that you want to breastfeed.

So give yourself a big hug and a lot of love, because you deserve it more.

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